We waste spiritual energy because of excessive talking. I'm actually not sure what this means. It's not my own saying, but it has reminded me of myself. I talk too much. My family is rather quiet so I'm not sure where I got it from. As I get older however I've come to value silence a lot more than I used to. I'm not sure if this is because there was too much noise around me or because I was thrust into a silence and thus had no choice but to learn to value it. I believe it's the latter. It's true that the worst thing about my excessive talking is the wasted spiritual energy. If I spent less time talking maybe I could spend more time doing.
I don't want you to think I say things because they're a reflection of who I am. I wish they were. Why would you be impressed by anything that I say anyways? It's all just words. You should be impressed by my deeds, by my actions. If my words don't result into action then what's so impressive? I'm just an ordinary girl that likes to talk about extraordinary things. But at the end of the day, I'm just a girl that's talking. And that's not very impressive.
I don't know why I'm thinking about this right now. Perhaps its because someone that I have never met praised me. I don't want to trick anybody about who I am. I don't want to trick you into thinking I'm a good person if I'm not. The more time that goes by the more I realize how difficult it is to truly be good. I wonder about things more than I used to. I wonder if everything around me has always been make belief. Did I create an existence of the Divine in my life that was never actually there? I feel rather confused lately.
I need to distract myself. I shall think about the beautiful sky in Mauritius. It was as though the ocean had risen itself above me. Now if only that could be real too…