My greatest jihad is against myself. The self that incites evil is ever present and I must always be mindful of it so that I may conquer it rather than allowing it to conquer me. A pure heart and mind are my greatest goals. Only then will I be one step closer to becoming a righteous individual. The prayer for pure intentions must always be on the tip of one's tongue. I say all of this because knowing and mastering ourselves is true power and this is the kind of power that's needed to reach God.
But what of His people? How do you reach His people? I suppose by seeing the good in them. You will never be able to see the good in people though if you don't first see the errors in yourself. I know some people would see this as a negative approach. Truly it's not. I fear conceit and arrogance so much and I long for a humble soul. Even when taken from a wordily perspective, know that humility is a quality that will always open the doors to success because humility ignites a sense of gratitude and a person that is grateful to this world will always be accepted by this world. More importantly though, humility and through it gratitude, will never fail to connect you with God. And this connection will open more doors for you than you could ever imagine. You know, I can't ever talk about God without talking about His people. I feel it's through the people that you find your way to God. But the only way to stand tall next to His people is to grow your own self first. I feel like everyone around me and everyone that I meet is so wonderful, so capable, so aware, and learned, and intelligent, and good. This makes me both happy and sad. Happy to be in the company of such people, to know such people. Sad because I can't seem to master these qualities myself. This is why I must always be mindful. Victory comes best to those who are mindful. Looks like for now Lulu's jihad continues.
I asked you what you would change if you could change one thing about the world and you said "I would change the people". When you asked me the same question I said I would change the distance between land and sea. You thought about this for a moment and said "But absence makes the heart fonder". I think about this now. I just want you to know that this isn't true for me. Your absence from my life didn't make my heart any fonder of you. You didn't have to leave. I already had a lifetime's worth of love in my heart for you and that love will never change. The fact though, is that sometimes it's still not enough to keep that person in your life forever. I would've never known this. These were the kind of truths that were never a part of my world. You know, still it's hard for me to accept them as truths instead of as mere glitches that made their way in. I miss the love I felt with you. It was wonderful. I wish I knew how you were. I wish I knew what you were doing. I always knew what you were doing. I wish we could've met one last time. Sometimes I don't let myself think about you. Sometimes days pass, weeks even. Sometimes I want to pretend like you didn't ever exist. But then I remember. That day when I got off the plane, I had hoped, really hoped, that I would get to meet you. I just wish we could talk. I wish I could tell you. So much has changed since you left. I want you to know though, that even if I miss you I've accepted this. I've accepted you not being here anymore. I know that you're happy. I know this. I know that there were a lot of things that you wanted and you have all those things now. You used to tell me that it hurts you when I hurt and I want you to know that I'm okay and I'm happy. Your memories never leave me. Ten years before we met, that day when you added me, that day when you asked me if you could call me Gul, telling me I was your best sister, every December when you'd email telling me this was the year we should finally come down, and then finally we met again. I can't get myself to write down in words anything from that time on because it makes me feel like you're still here. But I hope you remember it all. I will never forget my friendship with you. You were a big part of my life and I want you to always be a big part of my life. Even if we're standing on opposite sides now. Mani I love you and I will wait until the day our worlds are one again.
May your troubles now forever neglect you,
Your rightful neighbours respect you,
The angels protect you,
And heaven accept you.